How I Discipline my Toddler

Being a parent isn’t always fun or easy. There are things we tell our kids not to do to keep them safe, but if they don’t listen then how can we do this? 

With my daughter when she does something she isn’t suppose to or gets mad because she can’t do something and acts out, she takes a time out to calm down.  We choose to have her time out/calm down place be at the end of the hall and she sits for two minutes (one minute per each year of her age, many experts recommend). After the two minutes are up I go to her, get down to her level look her in the eyes, and ask her if she knows why I put her there and she will tell me.

We choose a place where Cloey would sit every time for a time out. We have a time out space everywhere we visit for her to take a timeout, this way she knows where she is going to sit and that time outs aren’t only for home. The first time we were visiting my parents at their house recently after getting Cloey use to taking a time out she did something she wasn’t suppose to so Terry gave her a warning (said if she continued to do what she was doing that she would get a time out) and she said “No my time out spot is at home”. The other reason we have a space at the places we visit is if they are watching her she knows that she will get a time out if she does something wrong.

It wasn’t so easy to get her to stay there at first but I kept putting her back, telling her what she did each time I placed her back. This way she knew that she was not going to win and she needed to stay.  My husband was saying it wasn’t working but I stuck to it, and said “I am the one that has to deal with her all day when you are at work and everything else we have tried hasn’t work so I am sticking with it and if you don’t want to help then I will do it by myself.” He decided to help me, and said he is glad that he stuck with it to. We give a warning (depending on what she does, certain things she automatically gets a time out , example hitting or throwing something hard) then if she doesn’t stop then we count to three, if she stops after we say three we let it go, but if she doesn’t then she takes a time out for not listening. Cloey was doing well about staying in time out but then she decided she was going to get up and move as soon as I turned my back. I would put her back and she would get out so I decided to put her in her chair that she eats in at meal/snack time and buckle her so she would have to stay. I put her chair in her time out space. I only had to do this twice and then the next time she got in trouble and had to take a time out I put her in her time out space and she moved so I was headed to get her chair and she said “No, not the chair” I told her “Then sit down and stay”,  she did. If she goes to move from time out now I say “Okay I am getting your chair then” and she will go back and sit like she was supposed to. There are times that I put her in time out and she will say she has to go pee, so I pause my timer on my watch and have her go pee then she goes right back in time out and I continue my timer. Cloey is close enough to three that she gets a three minute time out because two minutes didn't seem to do the trick like it use to.

I have discovered that it sometimes helps to offer choices and have Cloey choose what she wants this can some times help avoid a melt down. Like pick out two outfits and let her choose which one she wants to wear, let her pick between two kinds of drinks, or snacks. I also find that it is best not to ask Cloey if she wants to do something when it isn't optional. Like for example don't ask her if she wants to take a bath when she needs to take one because if she says no then I could be facing a melt down.

Having Cloey help with things around the house makes her happy. Sometimes I ask her to go grab something for me and she says she doesn't want to so I will say okay I am going to do it and then she starts to throw a fit so I tell her okay go do it then and she stops throwing a fit. If I was to just go do what ever I asked her to do I would most likely be dealing with a melt down because she really did want to do it.

This may not work for everyone. Some parents may call us mean but we need to keep our kids safe and one of the biggest ways to do this is to have them listen when we tell them to do/not to do something.

My best advice is both parents/all caregivers need to be on the same page, whatever you decided to do make sure you stick to it and if you give a warning about a time out make sure if they do it again that you make them take the time out or they aren’t going to take your warning seriously and you will make yourself go backwards on the disciplining.

Oh and we started timeouts when Cloey was almost two years old. Before she was two we would tell her what she was doing wasn’t okay and if it was an object in her hand that she was hitting someone with, then we would tell her that wasn’t okay and we would take it away. We felt like she was too young to understand what a time out was for before she was two years old.

Please feel free to ask me any questions in the comments below, or share your own parenting advice.